This morning I told Annalina of our pending move into the new house. I tried to explain to her the reasons why before breaking the news to her. When I said, "we are moving to a new house" her response was "no". I said, "yes, its true Annalina" she replied "no" again. I said "why are you saying no?" and she said "you are tricking me mom". I explained that I was not joking and proceeded to tell her about the house. I told her about her new school Tobias, and she giggled because she thinks its a silly name. She was happy to hear we would be just down the street from school so she could walk everyday. I was worried she would miss riding the bus. She was also very excited at the thought of making new friends both at school and in our new ward. She asked if we were changing churches and I explained how there are too many people in the world who belong to our church to all fit in one building, so the church has lots and lots of buildings and we are just changing to a different building, that's all. I told her more about the house and how it is three stories and she will be up on the way high third floor in her own room finally. She giggled and laughed and I was a bit surprised by her reaction. We even talked about the dogs and how only Gidget would be going with us to the new place. We would find a good home for Gadget, but that meant they no longer had to live in the laundry room, Gidget could be out in the house with us all the time. It was a good talk and I told her it was ok to feel sad or even angry, but she said she was ok. A little later she came into my room and asked if she could go bike riding around the neighborhood. She was considerably deflated since I had seen her last. I asked if she was alright, she said yes, just sad. My heart is already broken at my own personal loss in leaving this home, this ward, my friends and neighbors and this beautiful area we live in, but I can deal with it. I understand what is happening and I know there is no other choice. But my heart breaks again each time I see pain in my children's eyes. I don't want to disrupt their lives or cause them to be uncomfortable in a new situation. Richard and I would do anything and have done everything we could to stay, but the time has come.
The good news is that aside from the sadness, a huge burden is lifting from our lives. It feels good to know that we will have the funds to buy clothes for the kids when they need them. This last year we had nothing at back to school time and Adrienne bought all her own clothes and with a Kohl's cash gift card she earned from her purchases, she took Jake to get a few things he needed. We have been so blessed with friends who have stopped by with clothing their children have outgrown. It is amazing to me how people have answered my prayers and that they probably had no idea how dire our situation was at the time. The Lord really does work through others and I am grateful to those who stay in tune with the spirit and act on those promptings.
Finding Joy in Brokenness
4 days ago