The Long Journey

We woke up early on the morning of April 16th.  Adrienne and her husband Jon came over and we left for Utah at 7am.  I sat in the middle with Jacob and he held my hand most of the way there. He slept a lot of the way and I think that was a defense mechanism for him.  At times he leaned over against me and slept with his head on my shoulder, with my hand between his.  His hands were cold and I could feel his nervousness. It was my honor to be there with him like that.  I did my best to offer comfort and encouragement.  I tried to express how much I love him and how proud of him I am.  As we got closer I dreaded dropping him off! I am so grateful we were close enough to drive him there rather than putting him on a plane.

We stopped at In and Out Burger in Provo and had lunch.  During our short time there we came across 5 other missionaries on their way to the MTC.  Jacob had a great time meeting people and shaking hands.  Destinations included Puerto Rico, Madagascar, Oklahoma City, and Ohio.  Even the employees were excited and asked where Jacob was heading.  It was a great lunch stop and I am glad we went there.  After lunch we went up to the Provo Temple to take photos.  We had fun wandering the temple grounds and Adrienne and Jon were both able to capture some priceless photos for us.  Much of the time Jacob stayed close by me.  As we walked he often had his arm around me or held my hand.  We sat on the benches enjoying the beautiful weather and he laid his head on my shoulder.  Those tender moments I will never forget.  As the time to head to the MTC got closer, my sweet son got more emotional.  Before loading back into the car we all hugged him and wished him well.  As we pulled into the MTC we were told we would have only two minutes to say our goodbyes.  We hopped out of the car.  We all misted up as we said one final goodbye, but Jacob and I cried openly. It was the hardest and best thing I have ever done, leaving him there like that. It was hard on the kids as well.  The missionary who greeted him looked like he would take very good care of Jacob. Everyone there was so friendly and upbeat!

I cried off and on along the way home.  It was a long drive.  But it was harder for me emotionally when we got home.  Everywhere were reminders of my sweet son.  I found the umbrella we forgot to pack.  I went into his room and we have some work to do in there. He got started packing his things because we are not sure where we will be living when he returns.  I keep expecting to see him wander into the TV room and plop down on the lovesac.  I miss him.  I really really do.  We are raised to see missions as the wonderful experiences they are, but I don't feel like I was prepared for all the emotion that goes along with letting go of your son for two years.  Even though we know there are long term gains, it is hard not to feel a profound sense of loss. As much as I miss him, I know he is exactly where he needs to be.  I am so proud of him!  I know that he will learn and grow and become an even more amazing young man.  I look forward to seeing him again in two years and seeing who he has become.

Every day Jacob would hug Joseph and say "hug of the day" and Joseph would try to fight him off and they would laugh and screech. Well before we left that morning, Jacob said "hug of the two years".  I think this photo is absolutely precious!  These two love each other so much!

Jacob, practicing trying to share the scriptures.

How to deal with uninterested parties....Thanks for helping him practice Adrienne!

More sibling hugs!