Grateful for Angels

My sister Megan and my Uncle Rich have been my lifeline to my Dad since we moved.  I am so grateful for their diligence in keeping me updated on Dad's condition.  As much as I know we did the right thing moving when we did, it is painful to not be there with my family while my Dad goes through such difficult times and is perhaps approaching the end of his life here on Earth.  I so much want to be there with him.

My Dad is having a tough time this week, with new symptoms of not being able to swallow very well and not speaking much.  It is really hard to know if these symptoms are a progression of the Alzheimer's or if he might be sick, or if its just the effects of medication changes.  Megan called me today to update me on Dad's condition.  I was asleep, I have been very sick this week.  She called me later and I got to talk to my Dad over the speaker phone.  He was unable to reply, but it was nice to talk to him and hope he knew who I was.  After a while Megan took me out to the hall to fill me in and as she told me, I cried, wishing so badly I could be there with them.  I thought of the night in the ER where I sat and held his hand while he slept and how much that meant to me.  I don't want to miss those precious moments with him.  It is times like these that make me wonder, did I tell him enough how much I love him?  Does he know what a wonderful Father he has been to me?  Does he know how much I miss him? Will he forgive me for not being there with him now?

As I cried while talking to my angel sister Megan, my own two personal angels came in to offer their support.  Joseph sat on one side of me, rubbing my arm gently and Annalina knelt at my feet, hugging my legs.  They were patient and quiet.  When I got off the phone with Megan they both told me how much they loved me.  They asked who I was talking to and I told them about their Grandpa.  I cried as I told them how much I miss my Daddy.  We talked about death and I was able to express to them my feelings and beliefs about dying.  I told them how much my Daddy misses his Mom and Dad and how when he does die, they will be there waiting for him.  It was good to talk to them and to hear their own thoughts and to know just how much they already understand about death and the tender young ages of 7 and 11.  I am grateful for the open dialog we have with our children and for the empathy they have developed for others.  They continue to amaze me!

I am so grateful for the living angels in my life, both the ones far away and the ones right here in my own home.  They are just one more way I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.