This post is a copy of a letter Dad wrote to us girls that Megan found and posted on her blog. I want this to be part of my own family history, so I am adding it to my own blog. It is so very important for me that my children remember their grandfather. He is such an amazing man!
Dear Friends and Family, I found this letter my Dad had written to us, his children, a number of years ago.
I love reading it and hearing his voice. This week is a tough one with moving him into an assisted care home and I hope those of you who LOVE my Father will enjoy reading his words. This is a very personal post and I sincerely hope it will be respected and loved with the same amount of respect and love he delivered it us.
We love you Dad
Feb. 14, 1999
To all of my children:
For over a year now I have been feeling that I should put down on paper some of my feelings and thoughts as a way of sharing with you something of a lasting nature. Since my mom passed I have thought many times how much I would love to have some of her advice and counsel or just have her near. I miss her so very much. I have also been impressed that I should let you know some of the things that I know that I am sure I have told you before, but that I want recorded for future reference by you. I hope that you will keep this letter and refer to it from time to time and that maybe it will give you some guidance and direction and comfort over the years of your life. This is not something I am doing because I think I am not going to be around much longer. Who knows what life will bring each of us? That is one of the joys and excitement of life. But I do believe that when are together, we rarely take the opportunity to talk about the serious side of life and so this is my way of giving you some of my feelings and experiences.
I love each of you so very, very much. It is amazing to me how much love I have for each of you and how tender my feelings are. Now that you are all out on your own, mom and I are every bit as concerned for you as we were when we were raising you, maybe even more so because we are not part of your everyday lives. I am constantly amazed at how fast the time of life goes by. We have just celebrated our 30th anniversary of married life, well over half a lifetime so far for us and I honestly do not know where the time has gone. As you live life, there are so many day to day things that seem so vital and so important and seem to have such a major impact on what we do or how we act, but when you get the perspective of looking back over more than 50 years of life, you get a much clearer realization of what is and what is not important.
I have recently begun writing my life's history and in my mind reliving the 53 years plus that I have lived on this earth. What a fun trip it has been thus far remembering the early days of my life at home with my parents. So many things come to mind that stand out in my life, but I really remember a lot of love. I hope each of you have good memories of your years in our family as well. I k now everything was not always perfect, but I remember so many great times and those are the ones I hold so dear.
As I write the things that I think will be most beneficial to you, please take them for what they are, advice from your father. Think about what I have written, and every so often, please take a few moments to pull this letter out and reflect anew on what I have left with you. This is a letter that I hope will not be read once and discarded, but will be kept and referred to often. You all have such long lives ahead of you and this will serve to give you the voice of your father at any time during your life. Try out some of the things that I have discovered that have made me happy in my life and some of the principles that I use to give my life meaning.
I guess the first thing I would like you to know is that life has so much to offer. There are wonderful highs and anguishing lows, but the majority of our lives are spent evenly and there is so much joy in just living day to day. No matter how high the highs get or how low the lows are, they pass into every day happiness at just being alive. I have been through some heights of happiness and the depths of despair. I have shed tears of joy and tears of sadness. I have been so totally, emotionally spent that I have had nothing left in me for a time. Interestingly enough, the joy and happiness become treasured memories to be relived and reflected upon, whereas the sadness and despair and the impact of the sorrow they bring fade away and are filed into an area of forgetfulness only to be remembered as part of our experience and, while we are so distraught as we go through hard times, I have found that this too shall pass.
I love life. I have come to find out that life is only what we make of it. Attitude and the way we approach things has everything to do with how happy we are. We actually choose to be happy and positive or down and negative in what ever situation we find ourselves. I have seen individuals in such desperate, almost hopeless, situations who keep such a positive outlook and are so happy with life. In the long run, and if you can, try to step back and look at all things from a detached point of view. Do not get too wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself or feeling like the world is against you. If you put that energy into solving your problems and looking for solutions you will almost always find it's not so bad and that you can overcome anything.
One of the great principles I live by and one that I gain a lot of satisfaction out of is being responsible. Whether it is in the home, in the church, in the neighborhood or in the community. I have found that anything I can do to make it better gives me a great deal of personal gratification. I hope you all have felt the satisfaction that comes from going the extra step to see something all the way through; from doing more than is required just because it is the right thing to do; from putting for the extra effort because of the inner pride that you have to do more than just the basic requirements. I guess that is one reason that we have always been so frustrated when rooms were not kept clean or tings were not put back after being used. I suspect that I was not perfect in that area as I grew up, but it is something that is so important and gives me such a good feeling about myself, that it is a lesson worth living. Do not be afraid of working and helping. Some of the fondest memories I have are projects that we worked on together as a family. It gives you such an opportunity to accomplish a common goal, build relationships and to have fun.
One things I can say as I examine my life is that I truly love giving service to others. I believe I got that trait from my mom and dad. My mother always served the members of our family and would do anything for us. My father was great at giving service to others and always got us involved whenever he could. Putting others first lifts the soul and gives you such a wonderful feeling. I remember taking you girls with me whenever I could so you could be exposed to the concept of service, and of course, I always enjoyed your company. I have enjoyed watching each of you make an extra effort to serve your sisters at one time or another. Service should start in the home and eventually it will find its way into all parts of life and bring with it much happiness.
One thing that has always been very important to me is righteousness and morality. As I look around the world today, it is quite obvious that one of the most important values I have held so very dear is under very heavy attack. Through the use of media the moral fibers that hold life and relationships together have become very weak. Things we see in commercials now would not have been allowed on TV even late nights when I was growing up. The important thing of each of you is to spend some quiet time alone coming to a determination as to what your personal values really are. Do not be influenced by what is going on around you or by your current circumstances. Do not try to fit your values to anything but what is important to you. Be true to yourself as you lay out a patter that will bring you happiness and fulfillment. Write your values down and refer to them often. Life your lives to correspond with your values.
One thing I know I have been truly blessed with in my life is knowledge that my Heavenly Father lives and is aware of me and that my brother, our Savior, did in fact live and did in fact pay the price for my sins. There is a greater plan than just this life. We do live an eternal life predicated upon what we do in this life. The knowledge and testimony of this has been developing over my entire life and is still developing. I have not always lived as I should have lived with the knowledge that I have been given, but each day my life comes into focus a little clear and I am more determined to follow that path that lead to eternal joy. When I was your age, I knew what was right, but I was not totally committed to it. Through my life's experiences, I have become more committed. Mary and I have always tried to set a good example for each of and to teach you correct principles and I believe we have done a pretty good job of it. I have been with each of you at times when you have had spiritual experiences and you have felt the influence of the spirit in your life. There may have been things that have happened in your that have pulled you away from the ability to enjoy the comfort and peace that the spiritual side of life can give you, but one of the most important things I have learned in my life is that each day, each hour, each minute give a chance to change directions of we want to. We are never locked into anything in our lives that can not be changed. I know, because I have made many changes in my life and I am sure I will make many more. Life is an evolving process that allows us to grow and we are the ones responsible for ourselves.
May I just give you a little advice about finances. One of the most difficult pressures that can put on you in life is the lack of adequate funds to meet your needs. The anxiety of financial needs can cause a lot of damage to you personally and to your relationships. I have been blessed because I have had a good education and have always had good employment, but even so, I have had times when it has been difficult to make ends meet. I know each of you have struggled at times as well. My best advice is: Do not live beyond your means. It is so easy to get credit and get in over your head. Be very careful how you manage your funds. Get in the habit of spending less than you make. Not only that, but get in the habit of saving something from everything you make. Success and financial security will come to those who plan and make the effort to control their spending. Putting a little away at your age will grow into a large amount for your retirement. That is something I did not do and wish that I had. Only lately have we been really putting money away.
Each of you are so different, yet each of you have such great personalities and are so enjoyable to be around. Take some time to develop your talents. If you can, always see to it that you have a little time to yourselves each day and then use that time doing something that you want to do. I realize this will not always be possible and there will be times when others will need to come first, but even if it is just reading for a few minutes before you close your eyes at night, take the time. Learn to be happy with yourself. You are all very good children. Make sure you realize what really special spirits you are. You have been given much and have much to give. Remember your legacy and the heritage of your family. Take the time to think about where you are headed and where you would like to be going. In other words, lay out a plan for your life. It is amazing where this life will lead if we have our own road map and plan. The beauty of this life is that you can begin down any road you want at any time you want. There is always a way.
When you have some time, get to know your grandparents a little better. Read their histories and take the time to write down what you can remember about them. All four of them are wonderful people that have had some truly great experiences. They lived during a different time than you for the most part, but the values they treasured and held so dear are still very applicable today. They have given you a wonderful heritage and left you with a great legacy.
I have learned how important it is to enjoy the little things in life. Just today I watched a couple enjoy a little baby during church, just watching her smile and move around. Nothing earth shattering and yet the love there expressed was very striking. I think of how quickly those treasured moments pass. I remember very clearly each of you has a young child and how quickly you developed into young women. Time can never be recaptured, so enjoy each and every moment that you can, especially with your children.
These are the things I believe:
I believe there is a Heavenly Father who is very aware of each of His children and loves them each very much and wants to help us if we will but let Him.
I believe that we have a brother, even Jesus Christ, who did atone for our sins and has made it possible for us to return to our Heavenly Parents.
I believe that we are literal spiritual sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents.
I believe that we have a living prophet on the earth today.
I believe that the family is so important and that we are a unit that has been bound together by the power of the Priesthood in the temple.
I believe we are here on this earth to be tested and that we are tested and that we each have the power to overcome anything if we desire it.
I believe that each of us is responsible for our own actions and our own way of life.
I believe the truth is the truth and does not change even though it may fall out of popularity or may be ignored by most of the world.
I believe that the basic human spirit is good and there is goodness in everyone.
I believe we are here to lighten the burden of one another and that service to others is repaid to us many times over in our lives and brings us joy.
I believe that standing for truth and right is a noble and wonderful opportunity for us to impact the lives of others in a positive way and to feel good about ourselves.
I believe that as we are entrusted with little spirits that come directly from our Heavenly Fathers presence we have an obligation to love them, nourish them and teach them and to let them teach us.
I believe that we can feel the spirit in our lives and that we can gain direction for it.
I believe that we have been blessed with a beautiful world to live in and that the birds and animals are here for our enjoyment.
I believe each of us has our own challenges and obstacles in life, but that we can overcome them; the power is within us.
I believe that life was meant to be a wonderful, happy experience for us and that it can be if we keep everything in its proper perspective.
I believe that we can find happiness where ever we are and in everything we do.
I believe in love and am thankful for the love of my life and the life we get to share together.
I believe in each one of your girls and in your divine nature.
I love you more than I can ever express.
Love,
Dad
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