Tough day

Ever been trying so hard to do something and everything is going wrong and you don't know whether to laugh or cry, so you do both? And you know you need help, but you refuse to ask and you'd refuse help if offered, because this is something you really want/need to do by yourself? No, it's just me? My friend told me when something like this happens and it hits me ridiculously hard emotionally, just look at the calendar. Yep, this week is Richard 's birthday. ::sigh:: Please know I'm not complaining, mostly just observing myself out loud! =)