Choose the right, when a choice is placed before you...

I've been a teacher in primary for almost four years now. This is a good thing. I feel very comfortable in primary with all the kids and the great leadership we have in the primary in our ward. But our new ward was formed two years ago, and I find myself still feeling a stranger to many of the ladies of the ward. I know their children well and I love their children. I feel I have missed out on knowing and loving them as well. This year I was given a class to teach with Melissa Brue, whom I do know and love already. Our class is small, only seven kids, so on Sunday she asked if I wanted to go to Sunday School and Relief Society for the day since she was teaching! This was heaven to me! My husband's eyes lit up when I entered Sunday School and I really enjoyed the lesson. It was also fun to get to go to RS for the first time in years! This was a break I really needed(thanks Melissa!). The lesson taught was all about me and all for me, and I am sure everyone there felt the same way(that it was about themselves, not me, hopefully everyone wasn't thinking, "wow, this lesson is all about Amy")!

You see, lately I have been having a hard time with life in general. I am overwhelmed by responsibility, worried for the future and have had deep feelings of depression that I have been unable to overcome for any great length of time. I spent the Saturday before milling about the house, not accomplishing anything, not wanting to go anywhere, but to climb in my bed, pull the covers over my head(figuratively, I am claustrophobic) and stay there. Not for the day, but forever. I was feeling on the brink of a total break from society. It may sound stupid, immature, and a little dramatic, but what can I say, that is how I was feeling! Sunday morning I awoke and told Richard I needed the day off(as if wasting Saturday was not enough). I would not be leaving the bed. He said that was fine, he would take care of getting kids to church, dressing, feeding and loving them all. He was kind and supportive of me. As he showered I thought about it, I thought of the example that would set for my kids. The gospel is so important to me, it really and truly is and if I stay home because I am having a hard time of it, am I showing my family how much the gospel means to me? No. So I got up, showered and dressed and off we went. So back to the lesson Robin Mann taught...

Our lesson was about finding joy in life. Sometimes our lives become so mundane as to feel like drudgery. Often as mothers and wives and homemakers we are made to feel that we do not make a difference, that our toil is for nothing, after all , the laundry is never really done is it, tonight's dishes covered in spaghetti will just be covered in meatloaf tomorrow! But we talked about finding joy and peace in everything we do, whether its scrubbing dishes, or the toilet, we can take pride in our achievements. No matter how great or small. I am sure I have totally mangled the message, but this is what I took from it and it made a deep impression on me. This week I found myself happily loading the dishwasher, knowing how great the counters would look when there were no dishes piled on them, rather than thinking angry thoughts about who was responsible for leaving so many dishes unrinsed on the counter! Oh, and Robin brought us all big cinnamon rolls that she had happily labored to make for us. Could a lesson end any better?

I know that when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing I am truly blessed. Just knowing that I would be teaching every other week and going to RS in my off weeks bouyed me up. The message in RS made a lasting impression on me, I really feel it has made me happier, and perhaps even a wee bit of a better person. What if I had gone with my first feeling of the day and stayed in bed? I'd have really missed out!

But it doesn't end there! I got a call on Wednesday to go meet with Steve McNeil. This told me I was getting a new calling at church. I said to Richard how much I would love to be back in Cub Scouts. It was one of my favorite callings ever. When I got to the Church, Brother McNeil sat me down and asked if I would be willing to be the Bear Den Leader. My mind was racing, of COURSE I was willing. I had never mentioned to anyone besides Richard that I wanted to be back in Cub Scouts. What does this tell me? My Heavenly Father knows me. He knows my deepest desires and he knows what is best for me. I love primary, but the longer I was a teacher, the harder it was for me to prepare lessons and to find joy in teaching(it was certainly not the calling, but my attitude that was the problem). I loved my class and all the kids in my class, so please do not misunderstand and think I hated primary, because I truly did not. But it was time for a change and I am grateful that for all the possibilities of callings I could have been given, half of which terrify me to no end, the Lord decided to put me somewhere that I could be somewhat comfortable and happy for a while.