Earth Day Birthday

April is a fun month!  It is the month Joseph came into our family!  Ever since Adrienne got her new car, Joseph has been dying to go somewhere special, just the two of them.  So for a special birthday treat, Adrienne took him to lunch at Pizza Shmizza. He had a great time with big sis!

Joseph's Birthday fell on a Sunday this year and it was a beautiful warm sunny day, so we decided to go to the park and play!  We invited the family and everyone came to help Joseph celebrate his special day!!

Joseph wanted chocolate cupcakes with green frosting because he shares his birthday with Earth Day!

 

I have been wanting a new family photo and Megan took this beauty for us!

 

Prayers Answered!!!!

My biggest worry about our pending move to Idaho has been where we will live.  The rental home market in Rexburg is really tough, unless you are a student or young family needing only two bedrooms. Most houses rent out in no time and if they don't, it is because there is something less than desirable about the home itself.  For a couple of weeks we had been in contact with someone who needed their lease taken over because they were buying another home.  The home was a decent size, plenty of bedrooms in the basement and it had a beautiful yard.  Having only seen photos, we were going to rush to Idaho on Joseph's birthday to get everything tied down.  But the owner, who would have to sign off on us as renters was impossible to reach, so we held off(which turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise).  The next week several others homes went up on Craigs List(LOVE that site) and we decided it was time to go check them out.  We decided last Thursday morning that we would leave that night for a long whirlwind weekend in Rexburg.  Adrienne gladly agreed to take over the parental role here at home and so around 8:30 PM we headed out the door. Richard had some free car rental days from all his trips up to Washington, so we got a nice new Toyota that got much better gas mileage than our van.  We drove all night.  Richard was amazing.  Long car rides put me to sleep, but not Richard!  We arrived at 9 in the morning and our hotel was very welcoming even though we were 6 hours early for check-in.  They gave us a temple facing room on the second floor and told us to help ourselves to breakfast. (If you ever come to Rexburg and you don't want to stay with us, I highly recommend the Spring Hill Suites!  They even remembered us from our last visit.)  We slept for a few hours then Richard started lining up places for us to look at.

The first was already rented out, but she gave us the address of another home to go look at.  It was nice, but far too small for our family.  Next we went to Rigby and looked at a beautiful newer home there.  Aside from a few small quirks, it was a great house. We just had to decide if we wanted to live outside of Rexburg and commute. Its only a 15 minute drive, but the whole family had dreams of living right in Rexburg, close to the college.  The next house we saw is my dream house.  Large, spacious, in a great neighborhood, I think my heart actually ached walking through this home.  It was amazing, beautiful, perfect...well you get the idea, right?  It was being shown to someone else when we got there which immediately worried me.  We had one other house to look at, the one with the great yard, so we left and drove for a minute or two before we looked at each other and said, WE WANT THIS HOUSE!  We pulled over and prayed.  The butterflies in my stomach immediately stopped and a feeling of calmness that I had not felt in quite some time came over me.  We looked at each other and knew.  We drove back and they were STILL showing OUR house to these other people.  I was sure they were making arrangements to move in.  But we went to the door and told her we wanted the home.  She said she would discuss it with her husband and let us know.  We went to the last house and it was much older and nice....aside from the fact that we could not stand up straight in the basement.  We knew there was no way we could expect Jacob to live down there.  And there were spiders, so I knew I could not live there.  That was it.  There was nothing left to look at. My heart was still in 51 Hidden Valley Road and I was afraid it might have to stay there without me.

The family has been praying very hard about our living situation in Rexburg. I will use Joseph as an example because I hear his prayers every night.  Without fail every night he asks that we will find a home we can all be happy and comfortable in.  I was expressing my fears to Richard about living in a tiny apartment when Joseph overheard and said in a very duh-like fashion, "Mom, I have been praying and Heavenly Father will help us find a house".  What amazing faith from one so young.

We wanted to leave a deposit on the home, but the owner said her current tenants didn't have a solid move out date, but she would let us know.  We are very flexible on when we can move, so we had that going for us.  So we left Rexburg Sunday morning without a house!  I tried to be faithful and positive.  Anytime I doubted I thought of Joseph's strong, sweet faith.  Monday morning the owner called and asked when we could move in and asked for references and such.  Later in the day Richard received a signed lease agreement, which we signed, scanned and emailed back!  The house is OURS!!!  We will move in on June 15th, much sooner than we expected, but YAY!!!  I am thrilled.  What a great lesson for me and for my kiddos that prayer really does work.  The Lord is listening. I have no doubt that if this home had not worked out for us, the Lord would have helped us find something else. BUT, now the biggest worry of the move is gone and we can focus on packing and cleaning and preparing to move. 

I really love LDS communities, they know how to build a big comfortable family house!   This home is 4200 square feet.  And because the cost of living is so much less there, we can afford this beautiful home, it is actually more than twice the size of our current home, and it is cheaper to rent!  There is a large front porch and a back deck.  The yard is not huge, but it is also not fenced and is open to all the other yards and a common area behind the house. There are kids everywhere.  This neighborhood in only a mile and a half from the BYU campus and just about three quarters of a mile from the hospital, where I hope to work/intern.  The location is perfect!

 I have always been spoiled by my kitchens and this time is no different!  It is a good thing Richard and I love to cook!  There is a floor vent that flips up and sucks swept debris into the central vac system!  I love the black appliances.  I am over stainless steel and trying to keep it clean!  We are also thrilled at the gas range.  The glass cook top we have now is just too hard to keep clean.  There is a large space to the left of the fridge for our table and chairs.

 There is beautiful carpet throughout, thick and darker than anything we have had.  LOVE IT!  Because there is no wall near the stairs, the light switch for the basement is actually built onto the banister.  Beautiful stairway leading to the huge basement, which has TWO large storage rooms in addition to everything else down there!

 

This room is right next to the kitchen. It could be used as a dining area, but I kind of like is as a gathering space.  We do NOT have enough furniture to fill this house, but I am ok with open empty spaces!  The basement has two family rooms. One will be the television room and the other will be a play room for the kids and a guest area for family and friends who want to come visit.  We plan on keeping ALL the toys down there, so hopefully the main floor can stay clean.

One thing I am so excited about is that I will have my own tub again!  I have serious issues with relaxing my neck and shoulder muscles and in our old house I would take a bath every night before bed.  Since it is so cold in Rexburg, I imagine I will be taking a lot of baths.  Another interesting thing about this bathroom is the shower. It is a walk in, no sliding doors or curtains! And Richard's favorite thing about the bathroom is the high counter tops!  Great for tall people! Love this bathroom!!

Large 5 bedroom home with lots of space.

Home is like new and sparkling clean.  Upstairs has large eat-in kitchen, Pantry, Living Room, Dining area or additional Gathering Space with Fireplace. 3 Large Bedrooms, 2 Large Baths including a Large Master Suite with Jetted Tub, Large Walk in Shower and Double Sinks with Granite Counter top.

Basement has 2 additional Family Rooms, Computer area, 2 additional Large Bedrooms and 1 Large Bath.

A few amenities are as follows:

Central Vacuum system, Ceiling Fans, Large Kitchen w/ Granite Countertops & Custom Cabinetry throughout home.

One of two large kid bathrooms. Love the built in cabinets!

 

Front door, nice big deep porch

One of the bedrooms downstairs, large with two closets.  I was so overwhelmed with this house I  don't even remember seeing a room with two closets!

Looking into one of the downstairs family rooms!

Basement, looking down the hall from the bottom of the stairs.  Looooong hallway! Bathroom straight ahead, I love all the natural light that comes into the basement from the huge windows!

Second family room in the basement.

Another upstairs bedroom with a cute built in window seat. 

Jacob's Big Day

Jacob had a very busy day on Saturday the 21st. It started with the an invitational in Wilsonville.  He was running the 1500 so he could leave early for other events.  We went to watch and cheer him on. My fabulous camera did a great job and so did my fabulous son Jacob!  He knocked 8 seconds of his PR finishing 8th with a time of 4:21.  He hung back in the beginning and I was a bit worried about him.  Turns out that was his strategy.  He slowly worked his way to the middle of the group and by the last lap, he really poured it on and flew past many, many runners!  I am so proud of my guy!

 

Right before he crossed the finish line, he is looking up and seeing his time, and he is HAPPY with it!

Crossing the finish line

Jacob came home with us and Richard took him to pick up his brand new suit.  He also got new shoes to go with it as well as a nice new shirt.  He looked so handsome!  And why would he get all dressed up on a Saturday afternoon?  Well it just so happened to be "Mormon Prom" at the Beaverton West Stake Center.  He asked Valerie Stokes, a girl from seminary, a few weeks ago and she said yes.  He went with his friend Ryan and they picked up their dates, took pictures and went to dinner at Stanford's.  He had a wonderful time and I am very happy he got to have such a great experience!  It is hard to believe his senior year is almost over!  I am grateful for the fun experiences he is having!

 

Easter Weekend

After helping Adrienne buy her car on Saturday, we came home, boiled up a bunch of eggs and dyed them!  What fun!  We had a kit I got on clearance last year that made the eggs speckled and colourful.  I could not find the other kit I got, so we used our bright food colouring kit and made our own fun colours.  Adrienne took these fun pictures for us!

 Easter Sunday was stake conference for our area.  We did not go until 1pm, so we started out our morning with the wonderful deviled egg casserole that Aunt Lesa taught us how to make. It was just two years ago that she was here helping us make it for Easter weekend!  We also had a wonderful fruit salad.  The kids hunted for eggs and found a bunch.  We headed off to conference and heard some wonderful messages!  When we got home I fixed some scalloped potatos to go with our Honey Baked Ham. Mmmmmm!  What a treat!  Gidget got the bone from the ham, but she had to gnaw on it out on the back deck so she wouldn't make a mess inside.  She was not thrilled by this and was very pitiful trying to get one of us to let her in!  Annalina had fun taking photos of her!

   

It was a wonderful weekend with my family!  I am so grateful for each and every one of them and the contribution they make in helping our family be so happy!  

Happy Birthday Adrienne!!!

My oldest daughter is no longer a teenager!  On March 24th she turned 20 years old!  We happened to be in Rexburg at the time and neither she nor I was feeling well so we decided to celebrate at her favorite restaurant once we got back to Oregon.  The other night Richard and I took her out to dinner  to the Korean BBQ place she loves.  It is always so much fun spending time with Adrienne, she has such a great sense of humor.  She is also very kind and nurturing to her siblings.  Adrienne is also very responsible, which leads me to our next adventure...

Late Birthday Celebration!

....Adrienne has been saving for a new car for a while now.  She has worked to hard to save up and finally got to her goal.  She and Richard have been keeping an eye on the car market for a while now and she was very excited to get to start test driving!  Last week they looked at a car that she loved, but could not see out the rear window.  She decided to keep looking.  Yesterday several Subarus went up for sale so we went into Portland to check them out.  We looked at one and she really liked it.  We went to look at the second one and it was really cute, but she liked the first one better, and actually Richard and I and the littles felt the same.  We headed back to get it.  While she was in filling out paperwork several people came by to look at it.  It seems we had gotten back just in time so she could buy it!  Isn't it cute??  Isn't she cute???  Together they are irresistible! So I rode with Adrienne on the way home and there was a little drama involved.  Heading up Burnside the engine started to overheat!  Oh no!  I got Richard's attention in the van and he pulled over.  I took the littles home in the van and Richard and Adrienne waited for her car to cool down, then headed back up the hill. Richard drove it, seeing if it would overheat again and it did not.  Then I think he tried to get it to overheat(Adrienne told me he drove it REALLY fast) but it drove beautifully!  Richard did some minor things to it and it's good as new. Both Adrienne and I were a little worried for a minute there that we would have to take it back!  But having a brilliant husband who KNOWS things is very handy in situations like this. He will be able to help her with most mechanical issues that may come up! The littles are extremely impressed that Adrienne bought her own car. They have both declared that when they are old enough, they will also be buying a Subaru! 

Still Running....Senior Year Track

Wednesday we had the pleasure of attending Jacob's first home track meet this year.  It was cold, rainy, cloudy and AMAZING!  Joseph loves to run and really looks up to his brother so he tagged along to help us cheer.  Jacob took 3rd in the 1500 with a time of 4:32.  At the end of the meet he ran the 3000, which is his favorite.  He stayed in the front of the pack, but there was a Newburg runner who got out ahead of them.  He had a good half lap lead, but in the final lap Jacob gave it all he had and closed the gap. He came in just 2 seconds after first place with a time of 9:57!  We could not have been more excited for him!  After the race Jacob always congratulates the winner and the other runners. It was so neat to watch him encourage some of the guys who were feeling down about their times.  He has developed into an amazing runner, but even more he is a fabulous team mate and role model.  Can't wait to watch him run some more!

Rexburg Adventures

We left for Rexburg in a blizzard(maybe not an actual blizzard)!  It started snowing the night before we left and kept on snowing.  When we got up at 3am to leave, there was a nice layer of the white stuff all over the ground, including the streets!  Crazy weather for Oregon in March!  We hit more snow going through the pass and that slowed us down a bit.  The little kids were very excited to see the snow in Rexburg and Annalina's only wish was that we have a snowball fight while there. Imagine our surprise to arrive to NO SNOW!!  In fact the locals told us there had been little snow this past winter.  Go figure!

We stayed at the SpringHill Suites right in Rexburg.  We got a great deal on Travelocity and I am glad we did because I was having trouble finding anywhere in Rexburg to stay. The staff was delightful and very helpful through our entire stay.  We opted for a ground floor unit and were pleased to be so close to the lobby and the swimming pool and an extra bathroom.  Five people sharing one bathroom was a challenge that we easily overcame with extras down the hall!  Each morning they provided a lovely hot breakfast.  When we ordered in for lunch or brought home dinner, we ate in the dining area of the lobby, so it really was like an extension to our suite.  We had a beautiful view of the Temple from our Hotel and it was truly amazing all lit up at night!  Actually the Temple is visible from most everywhere, which is really neat.

 

Our first day we got up early and headed to BYU-I for the grand tour!  It was great.  The little kids loved it too and are already planning to attend college there.  When we would stop to look at a map, a student would ALWAYS stop and ask if we needed help.  What a friendly community Rexburg is!  We met with counselors for our various majors and Adrienne and I got great news.  Our associate degrees will transfer us in as Juniors and we will not have to take all the foundations courses.  When we first decided to go to BYU-I, I was a bit bummed to have to start over, but now I don't have to!  I have decided to work towards my Health Care Administration degree while applying to the Nursing Program.  The coursework looks really great to me and I would be fine if that ends up being my main focus!  Adrienne will be working towards her art degree and hopes to get into the photography program.  Richard will work part time towards his IT Management degree. 


One day we drove up to the Buttes near Menan.  We explored a new development on the side of the south Butte and found the perfect lot for us if we decided to stay in the area.  Just dreaming, but it was still fun to explore.  As we were climbing around a great big dog joined us.  He followed us everywhere and even marked the front tire on the van, we felt so honored.  When we drove off to look at the rest of the Butte, he escorted us around.  Here is a funny story that the kids have still not stopped talking about.  As we were walking back to the van, Richard said, "What is your name dog?  I think I'll call you Buddy."  and Buddy came running up to him.  As we were leaving we ran into some people out walking.  Conversation turned to the dog and we asked his name, which of course was Buddy.  The kids thought that was AWESOME that Daddy just happened to know that dogs name!

 

Adrienne turned 20 while we were in Idaho.  She and I both had a bit of a cold and were not feeling up to a whole lot of partying.  But Richard and I did get her a cheesecake to mark the occasion!  We will celebrate more when we get home!


Annalina has been a bit worried about the move only because 5th grade starts middle school in Idaho.  So we took her to the school she will be attending and a very kind woman took us on a tour.  It looks fabulous and they have great music programs for the kids. Annalina is very excited now and I think Joseph is looking forward to 5th grade!


We looked at a couple of homes for rent in Rexburg and explored the ENTIRE city looking at neighborhoods and such.  I thought housing would be simple.  The cost of living is much less than here, so we can afford a fairly comfortable home, however, the rental market near the University is very competitive, with many families applying for each home that opens up.  We will fast and pray that they perfect home for our situation will open up.  We include that in our prayers every night. It is sweet to hear the littles remember and pray for a place to live in Idaho.  While driving around, the kids got a little restless.  Each time we came across a school, we would make the kids run to the tallest slide, go down it and run back to the van!  They loved it and it was fun to watch!  Thanks Adrienne for the great pics you took!

We spent another morning at the campus. We got to eat lunch at the Crossroads dining area.  We hit the local DI and found Joseph some nice church shirts, we got sunglasses at Walmart on one bright and sunny day and we went through the local car wash.  There was a sign that said "Free vacuum with car wash purchase" so we vacuumed out the van.  The kids were amazed that the vacuums were on all the time and that they just trusted you to pay the $2 if you hadn't been through the car wash.  We got to talk about small towns and trusting communities and the kids were impressed.  Adrienne got to spend a day with a friend who is attending BYU-I and had fun walking around and seeing everything again.

We left to come home and it was a long ride home!  We stopped in Meridian for Krispy Kreme donuts.  We were able to listen to four Lemony Snickett "A Serious of Unfortunate Events" Books.  It was good to be home, but I think we are all ready to get moved and settled in in Idaho!


Jacob stayed home alone because he did not want to miss another day of school and his first track meet was while we were gone.  Turns out it was a good thing he made it to his track meet. He PR'd in both his races and helped his relay team win first place!  Way to go Jake!  I think he got used to have the house to himself since when we got home he asked when we were leaving again.  Poor little Gidget had 6 teeth pulled a few days before we left and it was nice to have him home taking good care of her! She really does adore him!

I am not ok...but I will be

Sometimes I feel so lost and alone.  There are times I don't want to leave the safety and security of my home, and there are times when I absolutely cannot walk out the front door.  There are times I just want to roll into a ball and squeeze my eyes shut to keep everything out, when being alone feels like the only option.  There are days when all I can do is cry.  But thankfully those days are growing fewer and farther between.

I feel like I have dealt with a lot of life's lowest lows in a very short period of time.  There is not time to recover from one issue when another one comes along and knocks me off my feet again.  I had a complete emotional breakdown a  month and a half ago.  The total loss of control was something new and very scary to me.  I feel like I shattered that Sunday afternoon and I have not been the same since.  I pulled away from everyone and everything.  I am certain I alienated some dear people in my life.  My own sweet sister came to just be with me and I hid in my room crying because I was so ashamed of the weakness I was experiencing.  I am amazed at the love she continues to show me, by accepting me for who I am, not only at my very best, but at my worst and weakest. 

I questioned my faith ever so briefly.  How could the situation I was in have happened, and why did it affect me so deeply?  Where was the Spirit to help me hear things correctly?  Was I even worthy of such help? How could this one small(and looking back, silly)experience have broken me completely and sent me spiraling into a darkness I never could have imagined? But I know that my Father in Heaven loves me.  That is why he gave me a sister who loves me unconditionally.  It is why a dear friend at church checks in on me and doesn't let me stay hidden away from her.  It is why I have children who go out of their way to help and tell me every chance they get that they love me. It is why the Lord gave me a husband who would do and has done anything and everything to help me. I know that I am truly blessed. Without these few people who have chosen to stand by my side, I don't think I could have survived this long.

 I could not go to church for a few weeks and going to church now is still very difficult for me. It does not feel like the safe and loving environment that I have always felt it was, yet I know that is because of something inside me.  My first Sunday back at church, a sweet sister in our ward spoke of her battle with depression.  The things she shared touched me deeply and helped me feel not so alone.  My husband also reassures me that it is ok for me to feel what I feel and to cry when I need to cry.  He does not place the blame on me for the depression and anxiety that I feel.  He understands better than I do that we cannot always control how our mind works.  He offers me his unconditional support and encouragement and sometimes I just have to trust him when he tells me it will be ok.  I wonder about and feel sad for people who do not have that in their life, someone who cares enough to sacrifice their own needs for their partner. 

We are told not to compare ourselves to others.  The grass is not always greener on the other side.  I think we also need to realize that the grass is not always deader on the other side either.  I look at my life and the blessings I have been given and I get angry at myself for feeling the way I do.  Others have it worse than I do, so what is my problem?  I have always been a strong person and I feel I should be able to handle anything with patience and grace. But I am learning that it is ok to feel weak and to be overwhelmed. I have also learned that I don't have to hide my weaknesses from my family, my children in particular.  I don't have to be happy and in control at all times. It is not only ok, but probably healthy for them to hear that Mommy is feeling sad.  It is alright for them to see my tear-stained face. I think I always worried how they would react, or how it would make them feel to see me that way.  Instead of reacting in shock and horror, they react with love and tenderness.  What an amazing lesson it has been for me that they love me no matter what!

A couple weeks ago I wondered if I would ever pull out of this, and I still wonder.  But I do believe that I am being prepared for things I cannot imagine now, which can be a scary thought.  I know I need to be tried and tested at this time in my life, and I simply must find a way through. So, if you ask?  I am doing great!  But deep inside I am not even close.  Just know, as I believe, that I will be okay.